very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize