well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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