He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
