Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
