It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
