remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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