I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
