Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize