like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
ttyl tear gas
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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