he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You are the jesus of drinking
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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