you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
