Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
