Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
