do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
