If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize