i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
