I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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