What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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