Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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