its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
