you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
