my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
