Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
