The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
