Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize