And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
