she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize