i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
