He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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