I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Congratulations! We have a period
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