I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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