my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
