..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
