Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
