I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
