R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
