You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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