I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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