seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
