i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
