dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
