I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we're making bets on your personal life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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