it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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