Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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