i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
