these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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