omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
