so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
