I must be too annoying 4 u.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
