Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
