we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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