I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In other news, I just burned my penis
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
