1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
someone owes me an orgasm
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
