then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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