i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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