My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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