I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
