You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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