im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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