Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize