I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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