well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
everyone is single if you try hard enough
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
